10 tips for being more truthful
Barbara A. Lewis
1. Make a commitment to tell the truth
"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth". Buddha
the truth will always end up coming out. ignorance isnt bliss and lying isnt a rule. id rather feel pain and know the truth rather than living in oblivion. telling lies will get you no where in a relationship and just dig you in a big hole of abyss. id rather just live with everything out the table being myself. telling lies will also get you in trouble in a career, for instance you want to be a doctor but cheat on the tests well your just lying to yourself and those around you. rather be you and dont lie. honestly im brutally honest and dont need a lie to make things better. if people do not agree with my being then they can go screw themselves :)
2. Tell someone about your commitment
"Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work." Vince Lombardi
Yes it is normal to make a commitment to yourself but how will people know your change if they dont know your working on it. An example can be in relationships. You tell people about committing to your partner. your not rubbing it but your letting people know your taken. you dont want fly's on your food right? you want to prevent that by letting the flies know you have a fly swap-er. Dont just let people know your committed but also your achievements. keep people posted and knowing.
3.Think before you give a dishonest answer, explanation, sarcasm, or reason.
"We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter". --- Denis Diderot
What this means in other words is think before you say something. sometimes when im furious i react so id prefer to be quiet. somebody's mouth can get them in a lot of trouble. id prefer to get in trouble then to lie and get even more in trouble. i dont like to put excuses either because if other people can do it then so can i. some people can really just piss me off and id rather stay away from them. better to stay away from drama than to be with them. but for some odd reason drama just seems to find me and haunt me. i can literally be doing nothing wrong and id probably get in trouble. ehy be in a world of pitiful lies when you can just the truth even though you know itll hurt somebody.
4. Be careful of when and how you use exaggeration, sarcasm, or irony
"Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment"
-Horace
This quotes that we should be serious when the time is right. an example can be when someone is telling you how you feel and you begin the answer in sarcasm. how will someone know your serious if you do not answer seriously. irony isn't a good way to show how you feel either. you may confuse the people around you into thinking something else. oh and i highly dislike dramatic people. they exaggerate for attention and that just annoys me. exaggerating may lead to a bigger problem, for instance if you are hurt and exaggerate the pain then they'll diagnose you with something worse then what you actually have. people just need to be straight forward with their thoughts. its not good to beat around the bush or to keep sending subliminal messages. just be honest and be upward.
5.Be careful not to twist the truth or leave out part of it.
"Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself"
- Ludwig Wittgenstein
People usually say lies or partial truth to save themselves. that is definitely not fair to others, and it can ruin somebody's dreams. an example of this can be cheating. teacher: " hey do you copy bob's homework?". student: " No i didnt" while he thinks to himself he didn't cheat of bob but cheated off Jim. Partial truth is being deceitful to others. Another example can be in a relationship. if there is a dysfunctional couple that is not working out they have to let go. guy: "i just want to know if you want to be with me?". girl: "yes i care for you and like to be around you" while under her breathe she says "as a friend...". its not fair to the boy to be lied to, and needs someone who actually does care for him.
6.Don't indulge in little white lies
"When we tell little white lies, we become progressively color-blind. It is better to remain silent than to mislead"
-James E. Faust
white lies to me mean nothing. i highly dislike sugar coatings because it has no truth. i rather tell my friend the truth even though it might hurt that person rather than it coming back to hurt them more later. it will most likely sting in the moment but at least your being truthful. Before i begin a relationship i ask nothing from them but to be truthful. if they do not like me to please tell me instead of cheating. or even worse to continue dating me though there is no connection. or with my friends, ill tell them the straight truth when they ask me for advice. sometimes they dont like it but im being a good friend by not lying. ask me for advice and in exchange ill tell you what you need to hear.
7.Watch out for silent lies
“Truth can remain silent. Lies must be spoken.”
― Mason Cooley
Lies can be deceiving in a manner that may hurt someone. sometimes, someone can lie and you may not know it. its not good to be a good liar and people shouldn't be taught that. an example of a silent lie can be a relationship. A relationship can look healthy from the outside and different from the inside. They can post pictures of themselves being lovey dovey, but in person its completely different. they constantly argue and lie about still loving each other. people do not know that which makes it a silent lie. i dont understand why people arent straight forward with themselves and others. they need to tell the truth and embrace it. why live a lie thatll end up backfiring you.
8.When you catch yourself lying, throw your mouth into reverse.
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
what this means is when you in a situation, dont lie. dont try to get yourself out of it because it'll make it worse. so when you begin to lie stop yourself. a lie would only make things worse than what they probably are. if someone ever feels the need to lie, that already says a lot. that means they messed up and they'll do anything in their power to cover it up. in a relationship, itll just make things worst. if you feel the need to lie then it isnt working out. cheating and lying arent situations but reasons to break up. Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.
9.Talk to yourself
“Self-talk reflects your innermost feelings.”
― Asa Don Brown
When your talking to yourself it also means to pep talk to yourself. you are the only person you can trust. you are also your greatest motivator, and can thrive alone. in the end, you are the only person who can make yourself feel better. nobody can transmit something to you, because it all varies on you. an example can be during a breakup. you are the only person that can stop crying and take a stand. you know you'll get over it but its a matter of time your mind lets you. we all have potential to do things but do we usually do it. im not trying to aim for perfect, im just trying to aim for a better me.
10.Treat yourself when you tell the truth.
"Outsourcing is inevitable, and I don't think it's necessarily treating people like things".
- Stephen Covey
when you tell the truth the feeling is better. you feel as if your light. when you lie you feel as if there is a heavy weight on your shoulders. treat yourself if you did the right thing and told the truth. for example, if you told the truth to your friend. she will thank you for the brutal truth and youll be okay. you did what you can and treat yourself. take yourself to the spa or dinner. your being humane by being truthful. treat yourself or give yourself a pat in the back.